Being “Yourself”

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‘Be yourself!’

Why I used to find this to be so problematic, I have no idea. This common piece of advice always seemed so cheap to me.. so cliche. Often times this advice is given before an interview, a date or some other occasion when we need to impress. Sounds like a strange piece of advice, though because, how could you not be yourself? I guess this was difficult for me to just do because.. honestly, I wasn’t so sure of who I really was. So in that case, how can you be yourself, if you don’t know yourself?

Strange at is seems, we have been conditioned all our lives to behave according to other people’s expectations, to dance to their tune, to let them pull our strings. We crave approval. We crave to fit in. But this tendency has taken over our lives to an extent where we are paralyzed by a fear of the outside world and obsessed by how others see us.

But what would things look like if you could really ‘be yourself’? Let’s say for instance you be yourself during a job interview, and I mean who you really and truly are. How likely is it that you’d get that job? Which is why I feel like a lot of people, including myself, would much rather work for themselves, be whoever they want to be, be who they really are and do what what they want because you can’t honestly be yourself when you need to impress someone to get something. The real you is the person you are when nobody else is watching, so let me ask again, how likely is it that you’ll get that job? Is the real you the person they want coming into the interview?

It’s unfortunately impossible to really be yourself when you are worried about how other people perceive you. We all care (at least a little bit) what other people think. We have been raised to believe that the approval of others is important. And in some ways it is (jobs, dates, etc). When you’re in the beginning stages of a relationship, what the other person thinks of you is important. Everything is puppy love 24/7 because you don’t really know each other yet. You don’t want to show who you REALLY are just yet, you’re still wanting to impress them without making mistakes. The ups & downs begin to roll in, not because of how the relationship is, but because you’re now revealing to each other who you really are.

There was a quote that I seen and it said “When you are able to laugh at yourself, you are free.” Being “yourself” simply means being free, being at ease with who you really are, subtracting what others see you as.. It took me a long time to really grasp. I still don’t have myself all figured out, and honestly I never truly will because we learn something new about ourselves everyday. Sometimes you’ll be what’s cool; other times you might be enemy number one. But you cannot control what other people think of you, so why even try? Just be who you want to be. Put your opinion about yourself before other’s people’s opinions about you. You can’t please everybody.

 

The Law of Attraction.

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I’ve had my fair share of time spent on being down on myself, focusing on the negatives and never accepting who or what I was. Never feeling adequate. I’ve spent time disliking my mind for the way it shifts and changes and never stays the same, and disliking how emotional and sensitive I am. I’ve spent years disliking the part of me that choses to dislike, it was just never enough for me.

You know why I KNOW I’m good enough now? The Law of Attraction. Beating myself up isn’t going to solve anything but attract more dislike or even worse, hate. That’s time waste I can’t get back. I’ll be quite honest, I didn’t believe in the Law of Attraction at first just because I was close-minded to the idea of speaking and thinking something into existence.

You are what you eat and you are what you attract.

Sometimes we look so long at the closed door that we can’t see the many open doors that are all around us.

When you’re facing a challenge in life, it honestly can be difficult to get through it with a positive mindset. Not only that, we can focus so much on the negative aspect of the challenge that we forget that we can choose to let go of the negative aspects and focus in on what is positive.  And if a positive can’t be found, then we can at least trust and expect for the positive to show itself.

That closed door is actually a door that will take you in a whole other direction to the open door you are looking for. When a door closes, see that it is only a direction you are not supposed to be going then keep moving forward knowing that you have been given a chance to go in a whole other direction because of that challenge. An open door will always be there for you.

Another thing I’ve noticed, the way we treat ourselves comes from our environment and who we surround ourselves with. One of the biggest influences is social media. You get so caught up and “programmed” by social media that you begin to feel “less than” or like you’re not doing well enough because of this “perfect” image that it displays.

Here’s the thing. As soon as we stop being distracted by how unworthy or “less” we are, that’s when we start paying attention. That’s when we start to be aware of what’s truly around us. That’s when we start to be conscious of how the world functions by making us think we need to be, have, achieve, want, buy, own more.

It’s so funny because I’ve had SO many times where focus solely on the negative because the positive isn’t happening “quick enough for me.” For an example, let’s say I need money. In my mind, all I’m thinking about it, “OMG I need money RIGHT NOW. I need this, this, that AND THIS. I’m so screwed, I need money.” This literally happened to me before and a few days later of NOT focus on what I needed and not focusing on the fact that I didn’t have money, it came to me. What I needed, what I wanted, found its way to me, effortlessly.

What’s for you will always be for you. Less negativity, more positivity. Don’t sweat it all the time, God will always be on time.

Be Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable.

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You want to know why some of everyone lacks a piece of self-confidence?

Because they are UNcomfortable.

That’s it? What does that mean?

We have to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. Routine things make you feel more at ease and in control, so you roll with that and become content on doing what’s “safe”. Guess who’s been guilty of that a majority of their life? ME. When you start to get uncomfortable in certain situations, this is what’s happening:

Your brain has this image of who you are already; your ego. When you start doing things that counteract that image, your brain then goes, “Whoa WAIT, hold on.. that’s not you! What are you doing? This isn’t who I know you to be. This could be dangerous for you.” NO, The feeling of being uncomfortable is your breakthrough. Then when you finally get past that, you’re like “Oh wow, that’s it? that wasn’t even that bad.” It sends a health memo to your brain like, “Okay, she got through this.” I have such a hard time pushing past who my brain thinks I am and honestly, the only way to truly do that, is to just DO IT. START IT. 9 times out of 10 that is extremely uncomfortable for most people because we feel as if we don’t know what we’re doing and have never done this before; pretty much like you’re unprepared. You know how to get out of that? ACT AS IF. Go into it like you know what you’re doing and soon, you’ll settle into becoming comfortable with it. Fear kills dreams more than failure every will. 

You’ll never change your life until you change your daily routine. The secret of success is found in your daily routine.

When I workout, I give myself workouts that often times, I don’t like and know I have a hard time doing, yet it needs to get done. Nonetheless, I include them in my workouts anyway because I don’t want to be comfortable working out. I don’t want to exclude some workouts just because I know that I don’t like them and that they challenge me more than I think I can handle before actually doing it. I want to see what my body can do, how strong I can get, how great I can and will become and I feel like that’s what the gym is about. Constantly pushing yourself a tad bit further than you did before, every time you workout. Your fitness is 100% mental. Your body won’t go where your mind doesn’t push it.

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Don’t focus on what you can’t do, focus on what you can and just do it. When you focus on problems, you’ll have more problems. When you focus on possibilities, you’ll have more opportunities.

Face Your Fears!

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I just wanted to share this video that my boyfriend showed me yesterday from my favorite actor (Will Smith) and come to find out, a really great motivational speaker. We’re human, so it’s natural for us to hesitate taking that first step without knowing what exactly will come after that. We so badly are quick to dismiss it, not knowing that one step that we take could be the first step to everything we ever wanted.

We fear being truthful to ourselves because it would mean we actually have to look in the mirror instead of pointing the finger. Fear is our biggest killer. Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear. The challenge is letting go of it. We fear failure yet in the same sentence we fear success. We fear being alone yet we fear falling in love. We fear change yet we dislike what is at the present. The list goes on and affects every aspect of our lives, personal, professional, emotional and even physical. We are our own worst enemy. We refuse to take our circumstance into our own hands yet we complain about lack of abundance and unhappiness. Fear is a natural part of life.

This video stuck with me and is so relevant to my life being that I am a worry-wart and fearful of failing. As I’m getting more in depth with working towards being all that I want to be and teaching myself all that I want to know, I’ve become more innovative… almost like my life has a new meaning. I used to be so scared to do things out of my comfort zone because of fear. That thought and feeling has diminished. I have to fall in order to learn, I have to fail in order to succeed.