Why I used to find this to be so problematic, I have no idea. This common piece of advice always seemed so cheap to me.. so cliche. Often times this advice is given before an interview, a date or some other occasion when we need to impress. Sounds like a strange piece of advice, though because, how could you not be yourself? I guess this was difficult for me to just do because.. honestly, I wasn’t so sure of who I really was. So in that case, how can you be yourself, if you don’t know yourself?
Strange at is seems, we have been conditioned all our lives to behave according to other people’s expectations, to dance to their tune, to let them pull our strings. We crave approval. We crave to fit in. But this tendency has taken over our lives to an extent where we are paralyzed by a fear of the outside world and obsessed by how others see us.
But what would things look like if you could really ‘be yourself’? Let’s say for instance you be yourself during a job interview, and I mean who you really and truly are. How likely is it that you’d get that job? Which is why I feel like a lot of people, including myself, would much rather work for themselves, be whoever they want to be, be who they really are and do what what they want because you can’t honestly be yourself when you need to impress someone to get something. The real you is the person you are when nobody else is watching, so let me ask again, how likely is it that you’ll get that job? Is the real you the person they want coming into the interview?
It’s unfortunately impossible to really be yourself when you are worried about how other people perceive you. We all care (at least a little bit) what other people think. We have been raised to believe that the approval of others is important. And in some ways it is (jobs, dates, etc). When you’re in the beginning stages of a relationship, what the other person thinks of you is important. Everything is puppy love 24/7 because you don’t really know each other yet. You don’t want to show who you REALLY are just yet, you’re still wanting to impress them without making mistakes. The ups & downs begin to roll in, not because of how the relationship is, but because you’re now revealing to each other who you really are.
There was a quote that I seen and it said “When you are able to laugh at yourself, you are free.” Being “yourself” simply means being free, being at ease with who you really are, subtracting what others see you as.. It took me a long time to really grasp. I still don’t have myself all figured out, and honestly I never truly will because we learn something new about ourselves everyday. Sometimes you’ll be what’s cool; other times you might be enemy number one. But you cannot control what other people think of you, so why even try? Just be who you want to be. Put your opinion about yourself before other’s people’s opinions about you. You can’t please everybody.